Loving A Werewolf
by Gaarasgurl666
Summary: It had been 15 years since I'd last seen Hogwarts, and many things have happened. My cousin had been thrown in prison, and the love of my life was a werewolf. Could things get anymore complicated? Remus/OC
1. Chapter 1: The Day He Told Me His Secret

It was your fifth year at Hogwarts. Your parents had sent you off, expectant of you. Your pureblood was sure to land you in the perfect position they wanted you in, high grades, good Quidditch position, and close Pureblood friends. They're expectations of you were so high even though you were put in Gryffindor rather than the preferred Slytherin, you felt as though you might disappoint them further. But all those thoughts were left behind while shopping for your magical supplies and any other objects you would need with one of your closet friends. You were, of course, shopping with Lily Evans, your best friend of over eight years.

You and Lily had met at daycare, her mother had known yours, as they had gone to school together, but your mother never seemed to care for Lily's. You and her still saw each other, however, and you became fast friends, as you realized you had much in common, boys and otherwise. You hated when a boy called you beautiful and expected you to fall head over heels for you. You and Lily had the same rebellious attitude, which made you both butt heads a lot, but still made you great friends. Lily didn't want a good friend that couldn't stand up for her when the time was right.

Your mother had a sister, Druella Black was her name. You had met all the children of the Black family, as well as their close relatives the Malfoys. You had met Lucius Malfoy, his father, Sirius Black, Regulus Black, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Andromeda Black. Your mother was close to these people, and frequently, they visited and stayed over every once in awhile. Sirius seemed to be over a lot more than everyone else though, and most of these times were secret. He would stay up in your room, giving you the excuse that he didn't care much for his family and he needed to get away. Because of this, you'd become great friends with him, so much so that he was pretty much like your brother. He watched out for you while in Hogwarts, in fact, he even let you help him and James play some pranks, but they were usually mean, so you learned to just stay out of them.

The train ride was rather amusing, as was finding somewhere to sit. Lily dragged you over to a compartment, however, and she introduced you to her other best friend, Severus Snape. You didn't necessarily hate him, he just wasn't the kind of person you would converse with. He had greasy, chin length black hair, and piercing dark brown eyes that almost seemed black at first glance. He and Lily got into a conversation, leaving you to stare at the window lazily. If only you had a book to read.

"You know, Krista, you could contribute to the conversation." Lily stated. You smiled at her.

"No thanks, you and Severus seem to be able to take care of that." With that, you turned back towards the window, and stared out of it. Snape sent you a glare, which went unnoticed by Lily, but was noticed by you. As soon as you entered the compartment, you knew he didn't care much for you. You didn't care much for him either; he was, after all, in Slytherin while you were in Gryffindor. But Lily was also in Gryffindor, why'd he hate you so much?

"I'm going to go find Sirius." There was a certain look of disgust that came upon Snape's face, which made you roll your eyes as you left the compartment. You walked by many people who were lingering in the narrow ways between the compartments. You scowled as you tried to slip past each person, of course it was rather difficult, but you made it. You spotted Sirius in a compartment, with his close friends that you'd met before, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. You thought twice about walking in there, since James would ask about Lily, Peter would attempt to hit on you, and Sirius would hit Peter, all the while Lupin would read a book in the corner and tell his friends to calm down.

You gulped, opening the compartment and getting the attention of all the inhabitants.

"Hey Krissie!" Sirius and James greeted you cheerfully in unison, while Lupin gave you a warm smile, and Peter waved nervously. You took a spot in between James and Sirius, who both laughed with you.

"Is there anything new with you guys?" You asked. Sirius and James shrugged their shoulders, meaning they hadn't thought about it over the summer. "Oh, well, that's interesting. This is more amusing that hangin' with Lily and Severus." Sirius' nose scrunched up, like there was suddenly something foul in the air.

"Is Snivellus giving you any trouble, Krissie, 'cause we can take care of that?" You shook your head, crossing your arms defiantly.

"You know Lily won't be very happy if you do that, and James, if you ever plan on being with Lily, I suggest you don't torture Snape in front of her." You shot the messy haired boy a look. "You know she sticks by her friends, and she finds you as obnoxious as guys possibly get right now." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Don't give us that, we know Lily is in l-o-v-e with James."  
>"Yes," You mumbled sarcastically, "Aren't we all. Right Peter?" You laughed as the rat looking boy squeaked and let out a dry heave. You snickered as Sirius shared a glance with you, while James looked horrified. Remus was, of course, still buried in a book. There was another silence; you could only hear Peter breathing heavily, and the sound of pages turning. You were ready to sit beside the boy just to see what he was even reading, but you knew Sirius would say something about your liking Remus. He always seemed to have something to say, whether you were innocently chatting with the bookworm or maybe just staring at his beautiful, tired eyes. You decided to take a chance, and you quickly switched spots, pushing between Peter and Remus.<p>

"Whatcha' readin'?" You leaned on his shoulder to get a better look at the very small black text of the book. Sirius and James shared a look, while Remus turned a few shades of pink, unnoticed by you. You couldn't very well make out the text, so you moved from Remus' personal bubble and went back to looking at him, waiting for an answer to his question.

"It's just the book we need for Potions this year. I like to read it over first, so I can-"

"Quit the nerd talk, Remus!" Sirius exclaimed. "C'mon, flirt a little, it wouldn't hurt to be smart and have a girlfriend." He smirked as Remus turned a dark shade of red. You in turn glared at Sirius.

"Shut up. I think I'll go hang out with Severus and Lily again." You stood up, ready to leave when you saw someone else stand up behind you.

"Krista." You turned to give him a questioning look. "I'd like to talk to you." You raised an eyebrow, nodding as you stepped out of the compartment with Remus.

"Is something wrong?" You asked as the two of you made your way to a compartment that had no people in it. It was rare to find these, but when you did, you seized the opportunity. "You seem, nervous."

"It's something that's been going on for the past years...James, Sirius, and Peter already know." You crossed your arms, looking over his worried features.  
>"I didn't want to tell you, because your thoughts would change, but they all thought I could trust you, and... I do as well." What could be so important that he had to drag you away, alone, from the rest of them? You wondered maybe it had to do with him being so tired, and his frequent disappearances. You looked at him, his eyes looked over you. "I'm a...werewolf." It came as an initial shock; you could feel yourself take a step back in surprise. He looked down, ashamed, and taking your reaction as one of disgust. You quietly thought things over.<p>

"Why would you think it'd change anything?" You ask softly. "You're still you, even being a..." you gulped. "...being a werewolf. I can't believe you didn't trust me more." You'd known him as long as Sirius had, and you had gotten to know him. The fact that he thought him being a werewolf would change your opinion of him; it made you feel, like he didn't trust you. But on the other end, werewolves weren't high up in society, like your parents were, and if they ever found, if you let it slip, he would be ridiculed the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry." He murmured back, just as quietly as you had. "James wanted me to wait until I got to know you more, he didn't trust you as much back then. Sirius fought with him through those days, but they still remained good friends."

"Yeah, but it was your decision, they shouldn't really have any say in it. But, that's not the point." You stopped short, letting out a sigh. "I've always trusted you, and I still do, werewolf or not, you're still Remus Lupin, Gryffindor bookworm who has to keep his friends in line." He gave you a weak, tired smile.

"Thank you, Krista." You just sighed and rubbed the back of your head.

"Don't worry about it, Remus; let's just get back to the compartment unless you'd rather hear Sirius and James rant about what they think happened." He chuckled, taking your hand as he helped you jump over the gap that led from one train car to the next. When you got back to the compartment, you let Lupin slip in before closing it.

"I'm gonna go check on Lily." You waved to the four people in the compartment, and walked back to the previous compartment with Snape and Lily in it. Lily greeted you enthusiastically, while Snape rolled his eyes a bit. You shot the boy a dirty look, as you sat beside the red-headed girl.  
>"Is something wrong, Krista? You look pale." You smiled at her, waving your hands in protest.<p>

"I'm fine, almost fell, but I'm fine." Snape's lip curled as he stared out of the window, to the looming castle in the distance.

You were finally dressed in your Hogwarts robes, and as you left the train with Lily, you glanced back to meet the four marauders, all of which were staring at you. You turned around. Lily commented on how they seemed to be watching you, you laughed it off, but didn't reply. You sighed, but you still looked forward to the Feast. The rest of the year would be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2: The Day We Were Reunited

Life after Hogwarts hadn't been easy for you, but for Lupin, it had been horrible. He wasn't respected as a werewolf; he was seen as a danger to all, so it was hard for him to get a job. So he was poor, just about skin and bone. You and James had worked hard on helping Lupin, you'd give some money to James, because Lupin absolutely **refused** to take any money from you, and hoped that it would help support him. You had managed to stay in touch with him though, and you had remained good friends over the years, though your strong feelings remained for him.

School had ended so many years ago, though, and after Sirius was sent to Azkaban you realized what you wanted to do. You became an Auror, which is where you met Nymphadora Tonks, now known as your best friend. The two of you had many things in common, besides being spunky and clumsy girls. You liked to tease her about her name sometimes, but mostly her clumsiness. She tripped over everything constantly, which you found hilarious. She made fun of you for being blunt and not realizing when it's inappropriate to say something.

You were sitting in your quaint little home that rested inside of Godrics Hollow, you had moved here after Lily and James' death. You didn't know why, but you had been drawn to this place more and it was where you were safest. Your house was medium sized, a dull blue color on the outside with white, scratched up shutters, and dirty windows. The inside was much better and also much cheerier. There was a hallway filled with old pictures of you and your family and friends, along with a signed autograph of a famous Quidditch player. Downstairs was the Kitchen and Living room.

The Living Room was decorated brightly, due to you loving brighter colors. The couch was a blue color that melded with the bright yellow carpet beneath it. Once, Remus had commented on your house, saying it was like walking into the sky, and on top of a ray of sunshine. You were always the dreamer of your group of friends, you found yourself often being lost in the sky, thus your weird taste in living room furniture. A rather large T.V. sat on top of a small chest, while a glass table rested in the middle of it all, some magazines spread across it.

The kitchen had yellow and white flooring, once again the color of the sun and clouds, with a silverish refrigerator. A small kitchen table was placed against the wall, two chairs tucked into it. You could always summon more chairs, but usually only Tonks came over to talk to you, so you had it set up for the two of you. A coffee machine rested on the counter, since you had been indulged in the muggle world, you had picked up a lot of souvenirs. The fridge was stocked with food you loved, none of it particularly healthy.

Up the stairs, there were four rooms. One room was yours, with a light blue bed with bright yellow pillows. They were really your favorite colors. An elegant bedside table was, as it was named, next to your bed with an alarm clock and a picture of five smiling people, looking at each other, smiling, and laughing. The walls of your room were blank, though they had this material over them that allowed you to doodle all over them, and yet still be able to erase it. Everyone thought it was pretty weird at first, but they got used to you creative personality. Your room also had a grandfather clock you had inherited sitting next to the door. Your room led into a furnished bathroom, a nicely sized tub, a toilet, sink, and a bathroom mirror that had toothpaste and medicines in it.

The other three bedrooms were actually just spares, in case some other Auror passing by needed a place to stay for a day or two. One bedroom was decorated for Tonks, she actually decorated it herself, for when she has fights with her parents and decides to stay over your place. The last room was ransacked, and had a rather heavy lock on it. Whenever Remus needed a place to stay, and he was far from home with no one to give him his potion, he made you promise you'd lock him in the room without unlocking it. Those nights were horrible, you could just hear Remus thrashing around in there, in so much pain.

You had never judged Remus for being a werewolf. He hadn't walked into the woods and screamed 'Bite me, werewolf!' at the top of his lungs. He was only a child when he first got the bite. Of course, you only found out in your fifth year, when he had told you on the train. The whole month, yours and Remus' relationship was strained. Sirius had confronted you, saying that you shouldn't discriminate against werewolves, and you snapped in reply.

_"I do not care that Remus Lupin is a werewolf or not, Sirius, he is still my friend and he always will be. He has the best personality out of your little gang. What I'M mad about is that he hadn't told me before now! I thought he trusted me, but it appears he didn't. I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him because of his, um, problem, but I don't care about that. He will always be Remus Lupin to me."_

Sirius had somehow managed to record what you had said, and in privacy, he made James, Peter, and Remus listen to what you said. Suddenly, Remus began to talk to you again, or tried harder to talk to you, and you gave in and began to talk with him as well, James seemed to have gained some new respect for you, Peter began to follow you around a tiny bit more than usual, and he even tried to ask you out once, but it failed miserably when Sirius caught wind of his plan and nearly hexed him into oblivion. School days were so much easier.

You were laying in your comfy home, splayed across your couch with a magazine on your face. You let out quiet snores as you dreamed. It had been a long time since you had been home, it sucked, really, that you hadn't been home in such a long time. And tomorrow morning, Remus was dragging you to the Order's new hideout for another meeting. You, along with Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, Mundungus Fletcher, and a few other people were supposed to go pick up Harry and make sure he got to the Order's hideout safely. You were nervous about that more than anything.

You hadn't seen Harry since he had been born. You had been in the delivery room with Lily, desperately trying to get hold of James and Sirius. When you had, James almost had a heart attack, and had raced down to the Hospital with Sirius as quickly as he could. Not soon after, Harry James Potter had been born. He was beautiful, when he was taken home from the Hospital and opened his eyes for the first time. Beautiful, curious green eyes like Lily, and James' matted black hair. There, you and Sirius had been named Harry's Godparents. You had both accepted, due to the fact your best friends were asking you something that required a lot of trust.

However, when James and Lily were murdered, you took it upon yourself to see Harry to safety. You couldn't take care of him, you were an Auror and not to mention being hunted by some of the darkest wizards of your time, you had to give Harry away to the Dursleys. When you had heard about Sirius being thrown into Azkaban for murder, you felt like your life had disappeared. All the people who were important had been torn from your life, and you were forced to be alone. You didn't like being alone, you weren't used to it, so in return, you went into a social recluse and hid yourself from the world. Remus had to pull you from this world, and make you realize you had to move on. Everyone had hard times to deal with, he knew it better than anyone, and he pulled you back into the world of society.

You had decided to become what you had wanted to all your life. You became an Auror, to help hunt the Dark Wizards. Some saw it as closure, like you became an Auror to hunt down the Death Eaters who had killed Lily and James, or who had given away their location to Voldemort, but you had done it so no one else had to go through pain like that.

There was a loud snapping sound and then knocking on your door made you groan loudly and fall the the floor with a resounding 'thump'. You groaned again, rubbing your now sorry bottom, before standing up and stretching. Outside, the sun was setting, the sky turning dark shades of orange and pink. You smiled, admiring it for a second before remembering that someone had previously knocked on your door. You took your time getting to the door, ignoring the loud yelling for you to hurry up from outside. You swung the door open, being met by two people, other Aurors, by the names of Mad-Eye Moody and Nymphadora Tonks.

Tonks immediately walked into your house, almost tripping over a stray shoe in the process, but somehow safely making her way into your home.

"Hullo Mad-Eye, Tonks." You greeted them. Moody walked into your house, allowing you to slam the door shut. "Can I offer you a drink or anything, Moody?" He shook his head in response.

"Hey, how come you don't ask me if I want a drink?" Tonks called from her place in the living room. She had spread herself out over the couch and had the remote in her hand. "...now how do you work this thing again..."

"Tonks, your father is muggle-born." You stated, walking into the living room and taking the remote from her hands. She pouted.

"Doesn't mean I know anything about muggle inventions." She stated indignantly. You chuckled, turning the T.V on and changing it to a random channel. The News was on, and Moody joined the two of you after, what you guessed, was searching your house and making it safe. The three of you sat on the couch, watching the News, but nothing interesting seemed to pop up. You eventually got bored, and turned it off, before confronting your two guests.

"I'm sure you didn't come here just to watch my T.V." You put your hands on your hips. "Knowing the reason would make me feel less uneasy."

"We came to bring you to the next meeting. We picked him up tonight, we just dropped him off." Moody's eye rolled all around the house again as it creaked in the wind.

"It does that from time to time." You explained. "Does that mean apparation?"

"Yup!" Tonks said cheerfully. "Now, let's go, the meeting can't start without you." You let out a sigh of annoyance. It meant leaving your little home again. None-the-less, it was a commitment you weren't going to break. You left with the two of them, locking the door and muttering a small spell that would stop other muggles or wizards from getting in. With all that done, you turned nervously towards Tonks. You had never known how to Apparate, and you never wanted to know, you were fine when Tonks was around. She hooked her arm with yours, and with another snap, the scenery changed.

You were standing in front of a rundown apartment building. The streetlights were on, illuminating the streets, sidewalks, and rarely mowed lawns. There was a gate that held back the shrubbery, but otherwise, it was rather dull. Moody did something, you hadn't really been paying any attention, and the apartments seemed to pull away from each other, and another apartment was in-between them. You followed the other two inside. Now, the inside was just as you remembered it, though the wallpaper seemed to be more torn down than usual.

"We're back!" Tonks shouted happily, almost tripping over a few brooms on her way down the hall.

"Tonks, can you go five seconds without tripping over something? God forbid we're apparating and you trip, what'll happen to us?"

"You can't trip while you apparate, Krista." Tonks crossed her arms, her hair turning a bright red.

"You'll find a way Tonks." You stated boredly, walking down the slim hallway with her.

"Tonks, Mad-Eye the meetings about to start-" A man walking down the stairs said. You stopped short, recognizing his voice. You smiled as you spotted his dark eyes, shaggy hair, and handsome face.

"Sirius." You whispered, a smile finding its way to your face. Sirius had escaped from Azkaban, and lived, and here he was now, in the same building as you. When Sirius had reached the bottom of the stairs, a few dots of red hair had begun to make their way down the stairs, as well as a bushy brown haired girl and a shaggy black haired boy. You smiled warmly, taking a few strides to Sirius before hugging him. He, of course, hugged you back.

"Krista, I can't believe it, after all these years." You laughed softly.

"After all these years your nose is still a tad bit too big." You giggled as Sirius gasped.

"My name isn't big, your neck is too thin." He joked. You let out another laugh. "Ah, that laugh of yours, too. Music to my ears. It's good to have someone cheerful in this house!" Tonks let out a 'hey, but she was promptly ignored. Moody pushed her off, down another narrow hallway, and they were off to the meeting.

"It's great to see you again, Sirius."

"Oh, I know it is. But I think you'd like to see your godson, right?"

"More than ever." You muttered. "But won't it be awkward?"

"Not anymore awkward than you usually are."

"Shut up Sirius." The children had all managed to make it down the stairs, three had bright, fiery red hair, the only girl had long, bushy brown hair, and the last one had shaggy black hair and green eyes. You smiled, knowing exactly which one was Harry, since he had Lily's eyes, and James' hair.

"Harry, I'd like you to meet my cousin, Krista Black." You smiled and waved shyly. Maybe you weren't ready for this yet, you had planned on talking to him, hugging him, and being naturally happy, but now, seeing him all grown up, it just felt weird. Especially with all the people around him. "She's your godmother. You're mother chose her just in case I was led astray, apparently." You smiled at him slyly. Lily had trusted Sirius, not a whole lot, but she trusted him, she just needed you to keep him in line sometimes.

You smiled as Harry looked at you. "Hullo?" You waved.

"You were, the girl in the photo next to one of the beds in the rooms up there." Ron stated. You raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, Krista, did I mention Regulus planned on marrying you?" You stuck your tongue out in disgust and pretended to make gagging noise.

"Didn't I prank him enough? Why was he still after me?"

"Maybe it's because he thought me and James did it. "

"Of course, because you and James are absolutely brilliant, right?" Sirius grinned, wrapping an arm around you shoulder.

"Of course we were. Now, the meeting." You waved goodbye to the kids in the hall, and followed Sirius down until you came into the kitchen.

"Hullo, Molly!" You greeted the woman enthusiastically. She smiled at you warmly, walking over and giving you a hug.

"I swear, whenever you walk into a room, I can feel it cheer up immediately." She stated, motioning for you to take a seat. You did, sitting in between Remus and Sirius, it felt like some kind of blast from the past, sitting between the two of them. Though they had grown up quite a bit, Sirius still had the childish personality, although it had become slightly more serious for good reason, and Lupin was still an intelligent man. An intelligent, handsome man. You found yourself staring at him from the corner of your eyes sometimes, you felt so nervous, sitting next to him sometimes. Maybe your feelings for him over the years hadn't faded away; it wasn't like you were going to be all over him. A few minutes later the meeting had started.


	3. Chapter 3: The Day I Remembered

The meeting started. It was about Harry's safety, and the fact the indeed, Voldemort was back. We briefly talked about Cedric's death by Peter Pettigrew. Sirius and Lupin filled you in on anything you missed, and when you had been all caught up, their attention was directed at you. They were talking about you staying here, so you could help clean, since the house also technically belonged to you as well. You didn't like the idea of staying here, it was so dreary, but spending time with Harry was more important to you. You accepted the offer, and the meeting was adjourned. You left the room first, accidentally running into Harry on your way out. You flushed, apologizing.

"Wait." Harry said. "I never got to talk to you." You smiled, turning to him.

"Yes?" You asked cheerfully.

"Why couldn't you take me in?" He asked. "You're my Godmother, right?"

"Oh, yes, but you see Harry, I'm an Auror." You tried to think to yourself. Why exactly couldn't you take him in? "Well, you see, you know what an Auror is right?" -he nodded- "Well, that's what I am. I have dark wizards with me all the time; I wasn't safe to be around. Dumbledore agreed with me, so we sent you off to those _people_." You stuck your tongue out in disgust. You'd never understood how Petunia had been related to lovely Lily. "I wanted to take you in, more than ever."

"Oh." He murmured. "Well, what about now? Until Sirius is able to get back on his feet, or maybe we can both live with you." You smiled happily.

"I wouldn't mind the two of you staying with me at all, but Sirius has to have his name cleared before he can do anything. He's more likely to get caught in my house, which is much smaller than this place." You looked up the stairs that towered up to the ceiling. "Man, this place is creepy. But, anyway. It's nice to see you again Harry." Your hand caressed his cheek, before you brought him into a hug. He hugged you back. You let out a small sigh, tears gathering at the corner of your eyes. This reminded you of so many things.

_"Lily, we're not together anymore."_

_"WHAT? Why not?"_

_"He's afraid he'll hurt me."_

_"Oh, I'm sorry, Krista." _

Lily's hug was as warm as her smile; she let you cry into her shoulder all night about Remus. You sighed, releasing him from your hug after you were sure you had wiped away all the tears. Harry said goodbye, walking back up the stairs to be with his friends. Sirius walked out, a smile on his face.

"Why, hello there, Krista." You giggled and wrapped your arms around him again, hugging him close. He was just another person from the past that you missed that also reminded you so much of Remus. "You know, if you need a hug, there's always Remus. Your eyes narrowed considerably. "What? Don't you remember the first time you met him?"

_It was your first year._

_You were in the Library, a rather large book in your hand. You were walking along when you came upon a boy, with light brown hair and hazel eyes. He seemed to be occupied in his work, so you sat a short ways from him and began reading. A few bumbling seventh year Slytherin's slipped into the room, laughing to themselves. You could feel their eyes on you, but when they looked down at saw the Slytherin crest on your robes, they smiled proudly and looked over at the light haired boy, who had the Gryffindor crest on his chest. I became tense._

_"Hey there, Gryffindork." The Slytherin slammed the book in the light haired boys hand onto the table. You had jumped a bit at this._

_"Um, please, I'm trying to read-" He was cut off when another Slytherin pulled him from his seat. I was flushed by now, standing up and ready to walk away from the scene. The poor kid was going to get it badly. I saw the biggest one there with his wand tightly. It was kind of a normal reflex for me, I whipped out my wand and pointed it at the Slytherin._

_"Stupefy!" I shouted. The Slytherin flew back a few feet, hitting the stone wall and landing with a loud slam. The boy looked surprised. I grabbed his hand, and the book he had in his hands before running from the Library. When you had gotten to a corner, you stopped to catch your breath. The boy looked at you, amazed._

_"You managed to take down seventh years, that was amazing." You smiled._

_"Thanks. Anyway, my name is Krista Marlyn Black, and you are?"_

_"Remus J. Lupin." He replied with a smile. "I thank you very much, but I must get back to the Library to finish."_

_"Okay, but next time, don't hesitate to kill those Slytherin prats." He chuckled as you looked down at the Slytherin crest on your robes. "I swear, I only got this because of my family." You stuck your tongue out in disgust. He chuckled again, and you both went your separate ways._

"I thought it was amusing." You stated airily, your finger placed on your chin. "It's an interesting, non-forgettable way to meet someone."

"What about how you met James? Setting the Potions classroom on fire." Sirius clucked his tongue, and wagged his finger at you, like he used to do when he was younger. It was a nice sense of nostalgia. "It was pretty brilliant, seeing as the walls were made of _stone_."

"That's not the point!" You exclaimed. "What about when Remus and I tricked you and made you seem like an idiot?"

_It was sometime during third year, you were in the Library as usual with Remus by your side. Your mind was whirring as you tried to think of a way to get Sirius back for embarrassing you in front of everyone. He told everybody that you'd never even gone on a date before. Everybody thought he was kidding, until they saw your face, and then the teasing began. It ended quickly, however, when you threatened to smash their faces into the pavement, muggle style._

_"Remus, I need your help. I have to do something simple and so obvious that he'd have to fall for it." You often confided in the intelligent boy, though he never seemed to be as into your antics as much as Sirius and James were._

_"I'm not sure, Krista, I'll help if I must, but I'm not the one who comes up with the ideas for this."_

_"Do they have dictionaries in here?" You asked bluntly. Remus raised an eyebrow, but nodded silently._

_"I believe they do." A grin made its way to your face. Remus shivered noticeably._

_"I know what to do. Play along for me, 'kay Remus?" You grinned as you spotted Sirius walking into the Library with James and a pretty girl. You smirked, deviously from behind the shelf you were hiding behind, a dictionary in your hand. You wondered how you found it so fast. Sirius introduced the girl to them, and then it was your cue. You walked out, the dictionary flipping open to the letter 'G'._

_"Remus, you're right, gullible isn't in the dictionary." You pouted. "So odd." Sirius raised an eyebrow, snatching the dictionary._

_"It's not, but that's the whole joke-" His face fell as he dropped the book on the table. You were on the floor with James, both of you trying to hold back tears. Even the pretty girl on Sirius' arm giggled a little. Remus had a slight smile on his face._

_"I got you!" You laughed. "I win!"_

_"Oh, the war is on!" _

"It really was on, wasn't it?" You giggled, remembering the small prank war that had gone on during that year. If you had remember correctly, you hadn't talked to each other the whole year, but at the end, you called a truce and decided you should prank with each other, not against each other. You accepted of course, though you had still teased Sirius about his cute nose, that was tad too large.

"I remember the time you nearly killed Slughorn."

"Let's not remember that." You deadpanned. "Let's talk about...um..." You crossed your arms as you tried to think. Your life in Hogwarts had been based all around your pranks, and you friends, the only other thing that came to mind was-

"Romance." Sirius smiled. "I had a bunch of it, how about you?" Your lip twitched.

"You know damn well how it was. And, my dear, you had no romance in your relationships, you had flings, where you'd snog a girl in a hallway closet. Snogging next to a mop isn't romantic." You stated bluntly, flicking his nose playfully. "You were a womanizer, Sirius, you weren't looking for love, you were looking for some cheap floozies for a quickie." He smiled at you sadly.

"Well, lucky me, I didn't break anyone's heart when I went to Azkaban." Your grin fell from your face. "Well, maybe my mother, but she didn't expect me to become anything either way. I had already strayed from the path she wanted."

"Oh, shut it Sirius." You snapped. "You're not the only one whose parents were disappointed in them." Your parents had been nearly ecstatic when they had heard you were placed in Slytherin, but when you refused the Dark Lord, the good mood was destroyed and replaced by animosity. They hadn't talked to you in months because of this, they supported the Dark Lord, and you didn't. You refused to have any part in it. So, you were shunned from the normal group of Slytherin, one who were happy as he rose to power, but you found comfort in your close cousin Sirius and his friends.

James hadn't trusted you very much at first, Remus had been the first person outside of your family to meet you, and Peter, well, he followed whatever James did. In fifth year, in the beginning when Remus had decided to tell you he was a werewolf; James hated you because you had refused to talk to Remus and the rest of their group. He had even told you that you were being a bigot for judging Remus on the problem. You snapped on him, like you had on Sirius. After the whole thing was cleared up, and showed it was only the matter of trust you were worried about, he seemed to gain great respect for you. Or, he said you were 'pretty decent for a Slytherin.

"You'll never understand how upset I was when you went to Azkaban. I couldn't believe it. Then, I heard what had happened, you killing all those muggles and Peter." You shook your head. "It wasn't something you would do. I never believed for a second it was you." He turned and gave you a look.

"Say that while looking in my eyes." You leaned forward, your face a few inches from his as you stared into his dark eyes. If anyone walked in on this, it would be rather awkward.

"I never thought you were guilty." You stated in your normal harmonious voice, smiling as you flicked his nose again and strode towards the kitchen door again. "Now, Molly might need help making dinner or something, God knows you don't do anything." He rolled his eyes.

"You know where my room is, stop by tonight, Dumbledore dropped off some Pensieve or somethin' for you. Said he has some memories you might like to see again." You stopped short, your hand still on the door as you were ready to push it open. "I don't know what it's about, but when you come, you'll figure it out." Sirius shrugged his shoulder as he walked up the stairs. "You know where it is." You let out a sigh of frustration as you pushed into the kitchen. Tonks and Moody had since disappeared, probably back to work. Remus sat at the table, talking with Arthur Weasley. He glanced up, your eyes meeting for a second before you looked away.

"Do ya need any help Molly?" You asked enthusiastically, a bright smile making it's way to your voice. She let out a sigh as she sunk into a chair.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to need a lot of help cleaning around the house." She replied. "And the portrait upstairs, it keeps screaming in the middle of the night." She sighed again.

"The portrait of Sirius' mother? I've seen it, or rather, heard it before. Sadly, the picture isn't that far from his actual mother." You took a seat beside her. "How's everythin' been, Molly?" She smiled at you tiredly, standing up and motioning for you to follow her. You walked with her, through a door on the other side of the kitchen, and into a hallway that led to a door, outside.

"Well, if you hear anything from the girls about you and Remus-" Your mouth dropped and you gave her an astonished look. "I'm sorry dear, they asked me about it, since we'd gotten into a conversation about it when Remus first came, and I might've told them what happened, but not a lot, but they're very curious." You turned to the tattered walls, promptly slamming your head against it. "Krista!"

"I can't believe it! I've already been thinking about him **all** _night_ long, now if they ask, I'll have to relive painful memories." You sighed, this time so softly it was barely audible, and you rested your head against the wall. "I don't want to remember those bad times."

"Then remember the good ones." She stated sternly. "I know you were devastated when he told you that he didn't want to hurt you, dear, but remember all the good times you've had?" You nodded. There were plenty of good times, like the Christmas dance, when you first found out that Remus might've had a tiny crush on you.

_"Sirus Bernard Black!"_

_"Stop calling me that." You smiled._

_"Never. Now shut up, and tell me which girl you chose to go with to the dance, so I can call her by the correct name this time." Sirius grimaced as he remembers exactly what you meant._

_"I'm going with Mira, from Ravenclaw, with the blonde hair and green eyes. Good enough description for you." You smiled again, looking into the sky again._

_"Why not?" You asked playfully, plopping down onto a chair._

_"Who're you going with anyway?" Sirius asked boredly, sitting on the arm of the chair. You shrugged your shoulders._

_"No one, I presume." You stated. Sirius bored expression turned to one of amusement,_

_"Well, if me and James have our way, which we will, you won't be lonely much longer." You gulped._

_"Sirius, I don't want to go with Peter!" You exclaimed. "He's sweet and all, but no." He shook his head._

_"Guess again, love." There was a pause, and then a look of confusion made its way to your face. Not James, he was too stuck on Lily, not him, he was your cousin, not Peter, you would say 'no' anyway, then that left-_

_"Wait-"_

_"REMUSSSS!" Sirius yelled loudly as he saw his three friends pop into the room. The shy male looked at the black haired boy curiously._

_"Yes, Sirius, is there something wrong?"_

_"'Course not, mate." Sirius left the arm chair and walked over to Remus, patting his shoulder. "Remember what me and James talked to you about, do it now." James and Sirius gave the now flushed boy a push towards you, and with that, they grabbed Peter and dragged him from the room. It was now empty, kind of empty, a few people were a few seats away, but you were far enough away from them that you didn't have to worry about them overhearing you. Remus coughed, covering his mouth as he walked closer to you._

_"Hullo, Remus." You greeted him, tilting your head to the side with a smile. "What're those nutters talking about? And your cheeks are quite a lovely shade of pink." You pointed out. This made the nice shade of pink turn to a nice shade of red._

_"Oh, yes. I believe they were talking about the Christmas dance that Dumbledore is having for us, at Hogwarts." You nodded._

_"Oh yes, I have no one to go with it seems. Sirius likes to tease me about these things." You admitted dryly. "Just because he has millions of girls at the ends of his fingers. Sounds kind of like a spider, you know, letting it's webs down..." Remus chuckled again._

_"Krista," Your attention was on him once more. "I was wondering, if-as friends, youd-I don't know, maybe-"_

_"Go with you to the Christmas dance?" You finished his sentence. You felt a weird feeling set off in your stomach. "I'd love to." He seemed to cheer up a lot more than before._

_"Oh, thank you-" You grinned._

_"Remus, darling, the next time you ask a girl out for anything, don't say thank you." You giggled as he looked away embarrassed. "But, you're welcome." With a new sudden giddy feeling, you hopped up the stairs to go and tell Lily of everything that had happened. And you thought about maybe, somehow making Lily go to the dance with James._

"Ah, yes, great memory." You murmured. "Just lovely." Your stomach churned again, just like it had back then, and with great effort, you followed Molly through the kitchen. You looked over at Lupin once more, his hazel eyes met your powder blue eyes for one second, before you flushed and walked from the room. You walked upstairs, and stopped outside of Sirius' room. You were ready for these memories, whether they were painful or not, because they all involved _him_.


	4. Chapter 4: The Day We Kissed

You knocked on Sirius' door, hearing a short 'Come in' before opening the door. His room was like the rest of the house, dark and slightly torn down, however the poster of muggle girls were new. You smiled, babes in bikini's, that's exactly what Sirius was like when he was younger. Azkaban has made him more mature, that's for sure. Sirius was on his bed, his eyes closed with his hand over his eyes.

"I'm so bored." He grumbled. "The Pensieve is over near the door." You smiled, looking down at the tightly wrapped package, picking it up and holding it to your chest. It was rather heavy.

"You don't like being forced inside, eh?" You laughed as he let out another childish groan.

"No, but I have to be, until my name is cleared." He smiled. "I can't wait for that day, the day the ministry realizes what bigheaded morons they are. And the day Snivellus can get off my case."

"Sirius Bernard Black, there's a reason he hates you." You scolded. "And this is it. Leave the poor guy alone. Now, I'm going to go check this out..." You managed to open the door with you foot, being sure to slam it shut before attempting to walk up to your old room. It didn't work out so well, especially when you realized you had to open the door, after putting the thing down.

"Krista, let me help you." You 'eep'd as you felt the box being taken from your hands. You smiled, pushing the door open and letting Harry into your room. You helped guide him in, so he didn't run into any walls or the door. You walked in after him, closing the door behind you.

"Thanks, Harry, you're a life saver, I'm not exactly the strongest." You laughed playfully.

"Really?" Harry put the box down gently on your bed. "Sirius told me you used to be a Beater on the Quidditch team back then." A grin came upon your face as you looked over at him with a smile.

"Used to, being the key words, Harry." You sauntered past him, plopping onto your bed. This room was as dull and tasteless as the others. Torn walls, no windows, a light that flickered, this whole house really needs to be fixed up. You had some good ideas for this room, like throwing bright colors at the wall and leaving it like that, you wanted the place to feel like home. "Well, Harry, there must be a reason you'd want to come to my room, is there something you need?" Harry looked over at you, shrugging his shoulders.

"N-not really. I was wondering though, you have a house, right?" You nodded. "And you're my Godmother, right?" Another nod. "Then, that means I can live with you, right?" A light smile made its way to your face.

"Of course, love, I'd be happy to have you live with me." Your house got lonely a lot. Whenever Tonks wasn't over and it wasn't the full moon, you'd rarely had anyone over. It got quiet, and to you, silence was unnerving. You had to be around constant noise, or else you'd become uncomfortable. You loved being around people, being naturally very sociable, but in certain situations quiet, a lot of people looked out for you.

"Okay, that's great!" Harry exclaimed. You smiled at his sudden cheery attitude. He left soon after, to rejoin his friends. Finally, you had a chance to open the Pensieve. You did so, placing it on your bed, before carefully taking out two bottles, with a not attached to them, written in Dumbledore's handwriting.

_'Sometimes not thinking before you act, can lead to good things.'_ was attached to the first tube, while the second, also written in Dumbledore's handwriting was 'Family is there for each other.' you blunk, your eyes narrowing. A bow was wrapped around them, with another card, written in the same handwriting. You took it, opening it and reading it.

_You took these memories away and told me to give them to you when I thought it was time for you to remember them. I found that after you reunited with Sirius this is the right time. Some things are better to be remembered._

_-Dumbledore_

You raised an eyebrow. You gave these to Dumbledore? When had that happened? You had no memory of this, but instead of wondering about it, you want to see it. You poured the memory into the Pensieve, waving your wand at the door and flicking your wand, locking it, before looking into the memory.

_It was a dance. A younger you stood next to Lily, dressed in a simple red dress with a black bow tied around it. You hair, short and curled for the occasion, and your eyes, glowing mischievously. Lily was blushing from beside you, her hair was straight and red, as usual, but she had on a bit of make-up, just to impress a certain someone, which she rarely did._

_"Wow." You and Lily turned, facing the four marauders. Sirius was smirking at you, you shot him a glare, Remus was in awe, as was James, though they were both looking at different people, and Peter looked as shifty as ever. You smiled, walking to Remus' side, where he gulped and glanced at Sirius, who was in turn about to laugh._

_"Don't worry about me, Remus." Sirius smiled. "Have fun, go any farther than looking, and we'll have a problem." Remus smiled though, his cheeks turning light pink, as he took your arm and led you off to the dance floor. His hands rested on your waist, he was nervous, you could tell, but your arms wrapped around his neck, and his eyes met yours. You were smiling; your heart was beating faster and faster as the song soon came to an end. You were praying that Sirius wasn't watching the two of you, because he would've broken the two of you apart a long time ago. However, he was probably off, after some other guys date. It wouldn't have surprised you._

_"Come on, people are staring." You grabbed his hand after the song was over, your fingers became entwined with his, your cheeks had turned pink and your stomach began to get worked up, but you enjoyed the feeling. You sat down at one of the tables, where the two of you talked. It was interesting, really listening to him._

_"Krista?" You were broken from your reverie when Remus had called out your name. You flushed, realizing you had been so focused on watching him talk, that you hadn't actually paid any attention. He was smiling, that wonderful smile that was rarely ever seen, and it was all for you. The chairs were a lot closer than usual; you hadn't noticed this before, and a sudden urge to lean forward came upon you. And that's what you did. He was surprised when your lips met yours, but he leaned in closely, his hand resting on your cheek. _

"I remember that. That was in our fifth year, it was a Christmas dance. It was when you had finally made up with Remus, and he asked you to go with him. It was a great memory, why would you have wanted to get rid of it? Though, now that you think of it, all your memories with Remus from the past seemed to have, disappeared. You remembered nothing that involved the two of yours relationship. You grabbed your wand, thinking about putting the memory back into the glasstube, before deciding against it and pushing it towards your head. You felt the memory return, it was a weird feeling that gave you a slight headache, but once the memory was full and in color, you felt better.

You glanced over to the next memory, this one involved family? What would you want to forget about your family? You inhaled sharply, grabbing the tube and pouring the memory into the Pensieve. You were ready for anything now. Or so you thought.


	5. Chapter 5: The Day I Realized

_It was when you were younger, around thirteen months old. You were lying in your crib, in a room that was decroated colorfully. You were giggling happily as you stared up at all the colors, your blue eyes sparkling. The door to the room opened, and a young man, with short brown hair and angry green eyes. He had a bag on his back, as he glared down at you._

_"You disgust me." He snapped. "You're going to turn out to be a horrible human being, you'll fail all your classes...You disgust me." The baby giggled, waving her arms at him. "I can believe I'm your father. You ruined my life. I'm leaving your mother, and you, so now I'll never have to see you again."_

_"Dada," The baby waved her arms, "Dadadada!"_

_"Is that all you can say? Stupid child." Your father turned around, and as he was reaching the door, you stood up in your crib and reached out._

_"Daddy..." Your father stopped short, his hand went back to his side and he turned. The baby smiled. "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" You chanted happily, squealing happily and clapping your hands, causing you to fall back in the crib, and laugh._

_"Krista..." The bag dropped to the ground, as he made his way to the crib, and picked of the baby._

_"Daddy." The baby giggled._

_"You're not safe around me Krista, love, I can't stay."_

_"Daddy...stay. Daddy stay, Daddy stay!" You went into a another giggling fit. The man's eyes glazed over as he cradled the girl in his hands, softly whispering as he walked around the room._

_"Daddy's staying, Daddy loves you."_

_"Daddy love, Daddy love-" _

Your palm slammed against your forehead as you plopped back onto your bed. Your father had tried to leave you when you were only a baby? He hated you? It was something you'd have liked not to remember. Tears were threatening to fall from your eyes, but you inhaled sharply and kept your emotions under control. You put the memory back into the glass vial, putting that and the Pensieve back into a box and lying down on your bed. You rested on your bed, your hand covering your eyes. A knock on the door alerted you.

"Come in." You murmured, but surprisingly the person outside the door heard and opened the door.

"Krista, may we speak?" You shivered as you heard _his_ voice, the one that drove you crazy. "Are you feeling alright?" Your averted your eyes, because you knew if you stared in his hazel eyes, you wouldn't be able to talk. They had this quality to them, one that made your heart go crazy, and made it more than obvious you were in love with him.

"I'm fine." You pulled yourself together and sat up upright. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all, Molly wanted me to come upstairs and talk to you. She said you weren't feeling very well." You cheeks turned pink. Darn Molly! She knew you didn't want to see him at the moment, it was just weird, being alone with him in a room, that happens to be soundproof...A little smirk made it's way to your lips.

"No, no, I'm fine, she was just trying to get me to talk to you-" Okay, wrong thing to say. Because Lupin immediately looked confused, and worried at the same time.

"Krista, did I do something to upset you?" You averted your eyes once more, knowing if you looked into his, you wouldn't be able to lie. You began to feel shy, turning your whole body away from him and staring at the discolored wall.

"No, no, it's something else." You murmured. He frowned, sitting on the edge of your you glanced back, it was then that you noticed how his light brown hair had small pieces of gray hair in it, how he had circles under his eyes, and how he seemed so much more worn out than usual. You crawled over to him, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and sitting next to him. "I have been thinking though."

"Krista-"

"No, just let me talk for a second. Tell me why you broke up with me." You asked him

"Because if I ever hurt you, even accidentally, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. And now, I would never be able to take care of you..." Lupin replied. You stared at the wall for a few seconds, before turning to face him.

"So it wasn't because you didn't love me anymore?" His pale cheeks had a small tint of pink on them. You smiled, remembering in the later years, around your fifth or so at Hogwarts, whenever you talked to Remus, his cheeks would turn pink and he'd try to hide his face in a book.

"Of course it wasn't." He replied quietly. You knew when he shifted next to you that he was feeling slightly uncomfortable at the moment. He wasn't as relaxed as you were. You'd been wondering for years about your relationship with Remus. Had it been because he hadn't actually loved you, he just imagined he did, and when he realized his feelings weren't true, so he broke it off with the excuse that he was afraid of hurting you.

"You know..." You murmured, staring up at the ceiling as you let yourself fall back on your bed. "I still have feelings for you." You didn't know why you blurted it out, you just knew that it was the truth. Your feelings for Remus John Lupin had not faded over the many years you'd been apart, they were still strong, and it's something you'd been holding inside for so long. It felt good to get it off your chest, especially since no one knew about it, or, they probably did, but didn't let on. The silence felt like it would never end. Your eyes closed as you pretended you were young again.

"Sometimes I imagine when we're younger, when we were together, and it makes me happy for that night." There was still silence, making you feel slightly uncomfortable. You felt the weight on the bed shift, most of the weight was now beside you. You felt his warm breath on your cheek, making you squeeze your eyes shut tighter. You knew his lips were lingering closer to yours, and you wished you still had control over your body, so you could push yourself up, and meet his lips, but you couldn't. You had to know if he could still do it, if he could kiss you without you pushing him to do it.

"I never said my feelings for you had disappeared completely, either, Krista." You could feel it, your heart was stopping, everything was shutting down now. You couldn't hear, you couldn't see, but you could smell him, he smelt of cologne, a delicious smelling cologne. His lips touched against yours, they were soft as you remember, you tried to keep a good grip on your body, but you couldn't help but wrap your arms around his neck. His hand softly pressed against your back bringing you closer to him as your lips moved together in harmony. The kiss to you was perfect. He pulled away, and this time, you opened your eyes and gazed into his. "You've always had the most unique, beautiful eyes, Krista."

"You've always had a way with words, Remus." It felt like you were young again, lying in the arms of the man you loved more than anyone in the world. "I love you." He tensed slightly. You knew what this meant, if he said I love you back, it'd mean that he wanted to get back with you, and to him, that meant you wouldn't be safe anymore. "Remus." You pushed up, and he helped you, your legs crossed on the bed as he took a position on the edge once more.

"I love you. I don't care that you're a werewolf, you won't hurt me, trust me, with everything you do to protect me, it would be my own fault if I got hurt. I want to be with you, I want to prove how much I care about you, but you keep pushing me away. If you truly feel the same, then you'd give me a chance to show you that our relationship isn't just some waste of time." He was quiet for a moment, his head was buried in his hands. He was thinking, he always thought before he talked, and you quietly watched him. You loved him, but if he thought he was a danger to you, then you would respect his wishes. You crawled over to where he sat, laying your head on his shoulder. He looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"I do care about you." He stated, though it was barely inaudible, "I love you more than anyone I've ever met before, but what I am, it makes things much more difficult for you-"

"So? I can take care of myself, I'm not stupid, Remus-"

"I know, Krista, but I'm dangerous-"

"No you're not-"

"Stop interrupting me-"

"NO! I love you! Would you rather me go down there and say it front of everyone else, and not keep the matter private for now." He looked over your face, which looked completely serious at the moment. He looked away weakly. He, after all, had known you since you were eleven, he knew when he had lost an arguement and he knew you had no shame when it came to getting something you wanted. It only proved to him how much you cared, but there were still things to think of, your safety, your health, he couldn't take very good care of you, he could always try though, but what if he hurt you? All these thoughts were reeling through his mind, while you watched him, your eyes scanning his face for any reaction. You knew what he was thinking, he was thinking about the pro's and cons of being with you. You had thought of those things long ago, too, everyone had flaws, but to you, he didn't have many. He was too modest at time, sometimes he didn't think outside the box, but at the same time, he was sweet, romantic, and he cared about you. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh.

"You're not an idiot, you know about everything, even when I told you what I was-"

"You're a human being, Remus. And it's not like you asked to become a werewolf. I mean, scars are sexy and all, but you learned how to deal with all the pain rather well. You're responsible, and I know how to take care of myself, love, you just have to let me help you a little bit. It's what people do when they love each other!" He glanced back at you. By now, all your emotions were becoming evident, the tension between the two of you was beginning to get the better of you. Your eyes had filled with tears, your hands were gripping the sheets so tightly that your knuckles had begun to turn a sickly white. His hand slid over yours, making you release the blanket. You fell into his arms, not bothering to try and sit up again. Your head was resting on his shoulder now, you were clearly comfortable and had no intentions of moving. Remus' hand rested on your back. He had no intentions of making you move either.

"Maybe," He murmured, more to himself to you, "I could give myself another chance at happiness." You smiled.

"You deserve another chance at happiness." And he did, for everything he's been through, you were the one person who encouraged him to continue on, even though he was a werewolf, you loved him, you, Krista Black, were one of the only people Remus Lupin cherished.


	6. Chapter 6: The Day Things Turned Sour

_You were sitting on a couch, in your colorfully colored house as normal. You were lying on the couch, in a plain white dress, with the T.V. on. You could hear faint giggling in the other room, making you stand up and curiously peek around the corner. There was nothing in the hallway, and the cause of the giggling was coming from upstairs._

_The hall upstairs was in the same shape as it usually was, though there were a few more pictures on the wall. They were of Tonks and some guy you didn't know, next to that, in an oval shaped frame was a baby, with bright hair and big hazel eyes. You looked over it, your lips fitting into a small smile. You used your finger to gently trace the boys face. You heard the laugh again, which made you turn. You quietly made your way over to bedroom door, pushing it open and peeking through the crack._

_Remus was sitting on the floor, a young boy around a year old sitting in front of him. His hair was a vibrant, unusual color, like turquoise or so. You hadn't seen hair like that since Tonks was going through her 'phase.' You weren't a metamorph-whatever the hell Tonks is, but your mother and her great grandmother were, meaning the trait passed over a generation. You were thinking this because, you knew it was your child, you could tell he was yours. Silently, you opened the door, though it caught both the babies and Lupins' eye._

_"Hello love." Remus greeted you with a rare, warm smile. "I was just taking care of Teddy." That was your baby. You knew it was, it had to be. That was your child, sitting on the floor, sitting on the floor and giggling. You could feel tears well up in your eyes as you kneeled down beside your child._

_"Hello Teddy, how're you doing today?" He giggled reaching out to you, and gratefully you picked him up. You held him close to you, letting out a soft sigh as you smelt his hair, which smelt of coconuts and lime; you listened to his angelic laugh one more time, before your vision was fading to black. Remus took the baby from you, still smiling as he laid on the bed Teddy. It was almost like he was saying 'We're waiting'._

_"No, no, I can't wake up-" You cried out, but Remus simply looked away from you like nothing was happening. "NO!" There was a brief falling sensation, there was only a portal of black around you, you were falling, falling down- _

You jumped up, your fingers clenched around your sheets. You were panting heavily, some sweat sliding down your forehead. You groaned, digging your elbows into the uncomfortable bed while you rubbed your eyes. Damn dream had woken you up again.

The past month and a half, spending it in this house, had made you dream, it showed all your dreams, things you've wanted but never really got to have. A family. You wanted a little baby, to hug close to you, to take care of, you wanted to feel needed. A child would make you feel needed, like someone needed you there, but that would be impossible in these days, with Voldemort coming back to power. You wanted one, though, you wanted one so badly. Your biological clock is going off, you guessed.

You had told Molly about the dream countless times, you didn't have to tell her it was Lupins' baby, because she already knew that, but she could tell how nervous it made you. You hadn't told him about the dream, because you knew where he stood on the subject of a child, especially now. So you kept it inside, this new feeling of growing nervousness, this feeling of want inside of you, it was beginning to drive you crazy.

"Molly, I hate this stupid dream. Isn't there some kind of potion that can stop me from dreaming?" You whined one morning. You were sitting in the kitchen, where the red haired mother was working hard, trying to prepare breakfast for over ten people. You weren't the best cook, so it was better you just sat out of all the hullabaloo.

"I'm positive there is dear, but you know, you enjoy this dream much more than you let on."

"Well, of course!" You exclaimed. "It's my baby, with Remus, why wouldn't I enjoy it? You should see him, Molly, Teddy was beautiful, he had such unusual hair, but his eyes, they were his father's eyes, and he felt so real and soft..." You let out a happy sigh, putting your chin in your hand as you close your eyes. "I really want a baby, Molly. I want this whole thing to end, and I want a child."

"Trust me dear, we've all had those moments, where we think we want another child, but you have to think about the future. How will you take care of him? How will you feed him, including yourselves, if you have him now? A baby is a lot of responsibility, and though I'd be glad to help you, you have to ask yourself. Are you prepared to have a baby?" Molly's words sunk in, she always brought you back to reality, she would know more than anyone about taking care of children.

"Do you regret ever having your children, Molly, with how hard things are?"

"Of course not!" She smiled fondly. "Sometimes, it gets so hard, but it's worth it in the end. You get to see them go off, have a family of their own, make something of themselves."

"So what makes you think, that I haven't already thought about all of this? I've thought about so many things! The money, clothes, everything! I know we can't take care of a child right now, and I will not push any more stress on Remus' shoulders. I...I'll deal with this all."

"Krista, love-"

"I can't stand it!" You whispered, letting your head drop to the table. "I can't stand seeing him so tired and in pain! I want this to stop; I can't tell him about my dream."

"Maybe it could be a joyous moment in your future, Krista, but maybe, he'd like to know of it-"

"No, he wouldn't. He would tell me, he couldn't afford it, and that he would never want a baby because he's a werewolf. He's afraid of what people he loves think of him, and I know in my dream, that baby loved him! And I loved him, and we were a family. We had problems, but we were a family." Things got silent.

"I know, how you're feeling, Krista." Molly broke the silence, "I understand what you're feeling right now. But you can make it, things might be hard, Remus does love you, and he's afraid that you'll get up one morning and realize you could do better. Telling him you want to have a child with him, it might show him how much you care, how much you trust him. He'll figure it out eventually." You nodded, not removing your head from the table. If you did, you knew Molly would see how red they were, how tears were still streaking down your face, no matter how much you told them to stop.

It was too much for one pregnant woman to take.


End file.
